Grace of Innocence
by RivLee
Summary: Gift fic for Jouri, centers around the life of Elrohir and the reason why he may have stayed behind when his father passed over the sea: the love of a mortal. AU, Het, OC. On Hold.
1. Insanity of Solitude

Chapter One: Insanity of Solitude  
  
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"And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.   
  
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.   
  
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:  
  
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.  
  
To know the pain of too much tenderness.  
  
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;  
  
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.  
  
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;  
  
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;  
  
To return home at eventide with gratitude;  
  
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips."  
  
Kahil Gibran, "The Prophet"  
  
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He sometimes felt as if he always stuck out, was always the odd member in a group of evens. The differences between Elrohir and his life-long friends were becoming more prominent as the years had gone by. All of his friends and siblings were either already bound or had plans to bind in Aman in the future. He felt out of place. His sister was getting married and his brother would surely be bound once they arrived in Aman. He truly felt alone, and it was not often he felt such.  
  
After Estel had been crowned, now King Elessar, the twins had set out with Eomer to Rohan. They planned to meet Arwen's escort coming from Lorien. That would take some time, and so the brothers had decided to pass the time in Edoras. Elladan was a little less happy about this plan, wishing to return to Imladris as soon as possible, greatly missing his betrothed now that the war had come to an end. Elrohir had told his brother it would be a veritable waste of time to return home, considering that as soon as word was sent to Imladris that Sauron had been defeated and the Ring destroyed their Ada and their sister would set out as soon as possible.  
  
Elrohir feared the upcoming nuptials, knowing they would tear the family apart.  
  
Then again their family seams had been slowly fraying ever since his mother had passed over the Sea. The two years that had followed her departure had been the worst in his life. Their family had split apart; their close household had scattered to the four winds. When Estel and Gilraen had come to stay with them, a good amount of light had returned to the Last Homely House, but it was not the same.  
  
The past events had weighed too heavily on its inhabitants. The regrets of the past and their inevitable effects on the events of that future, could still be felt. The contentment Elrohir had known as a youth had never returned in his elder years.  
  
Morwen, his dear foster-sister, had once told him he had achieved his final fall from innocence. That the contentment one knows as a child is the last toe-hold of happiness we contain within ourselves. Once we come to the realization that the contentment of the past shall never return we have a final fall and exist in a jaded world. Elrohir disagreed with her, even though he acknowledged that Morwen had her reasons for being bitter about life. It had not been the kindest of things to her, most of her choices being denied her and decided by those that felt they knew better. But now was not the time for such memories.  
  
Elrohir knew there was one thing that kept him slightly innocent in the cynical world. He had never fallen in love. Pure, as close to true as one can get, love. He had had many cases of infatuation. Few that went beyond stolen kisses in a darken corridor. Some did go past that stage but none of those relationships had caused something so dark and fierce in him as love.  
  
Elrohir almost feared love. He had seen what it had done to those around him. How weak and jealous and miserable it made them. How vulnerable you truly became and he feared that. Yet he longed for the other side he had seen. The simple joys. The knowledge that there was someone with you, whom once your carnal desires faded, you could still enjoy all of your time with. Still laugh with and talk to. That was love to Elrohir; the simple things. And he had no greater desire to experience that than anything else on the face of Arda. Perhaps his chance at what he had heard called the "Sweet Madness" had passed. Perhaps the chance was waiting for him in Aman. He could only trust the Valar to guide him.  
  
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He had spotted her near the stables, this lady of Rohan. The horses loved her, he always considered that a very good sign in a human. She seemed greatly in tuned with the nature of her homeland. This was a creature that could survive no where else but the Rohan. He had taken to following her; learning her habits and her daily routines. Elladan was starting to worry about his sanity, he knew. His brother has always thought him a tad crazy. Personally Elrohir found that a case of the pot calling the kettle. Elladan was very far from having a sound mind. He was the only elf Elrohir had ever known to dislocate a shoulder and break all the toes in his right foot on the same day, and all for a horrendous attempt at match-making. No, Elladan had no right to think his brother mad. Even if Elrohir had taken to lurking the stables and virtually stalking this unknown female. He was not mad, he was merely curious. And what kind of elf would he be if he denied his curiosity about something?  
  
"A stupid half-elf." His brother remarked from behind him, having easily read his twin's mind.  
  
Elrohir glared at his brother, angry that after over two thousands years big brother could still sneak up on little brother.  
  
"Elladan, my dear twin, you of all should know that the sons of Elrond Half-Elven are not Half-Elven themselves but 3/4 elf and 1/4 human. Therefore that would be a stupid 3/4-elf."  
  
Elladan rolled his eyes at his beloved twin, "You my brother are not only mad, you are dense. An orc has more sense than you."  
  
"Funny, Morwen and Erestor said the same exact thing about you."  
  
"Well, you know what they say: takes one to know one."  
  
"Now, that is just mean. You just called Morwen and Erestor fools. Wait until I tell Rian, she'll eat you for breakfast."  
  
"That does seem to be a favorite task of hers. However, I was referring to you."  
  
"Then make your statements more clear."  
  
"Are you correcting my grammar?"  
  
"Merely stating a point."  
  
"You were dropped as a child, I swear."  
  
"And your antics were most likely the reason I was dropped. Now, if you will please excuse me, I have a female to stalk."  
  
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The female had found out she was being stalked by an elf. Needless to say, her reaction was not a pleasant one.  
  
Elrohir never realized mortal women could throw a punch so accurately.  
  
Or with so much force behind it.  
  
If a fight broke down between an elven maiden and one of Rohan, his bet was on Rohan.  
  
Elladan smacked a poultice onto Elrohir's blackening eye. Elrohir believed his brother had done it gleefully so. The family must have mated with an orc somewhere and Elladan had received all of its traits. That was the only explanation. Eru help his soon-to-be wife.   
  
"Ada will kill you, you know this, correct?" Elladan asked with all the charm of a boar.  
  
"And why, my dear brother, would he do such a thing?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know. Disgrace to the family for frightening a helpless human maiden…."  
  
"That maiden was anything but helpless."  
  
"Disgrace to the family for showing up at the most important wedding in probably the Third Age with a black eye…"  
  
"I would think our parent's wedding was a bit more important seeing as how it brought both us and Arwen here. Or perhaps the wedding of Arathorn and Gilraen seeing as how it brought Estel here."  
  
"And of course the disappointment you will cause to Ada's precious baby girl by showing up at her wedding as an elf with both a reputation from Rohan and the black eye to prove it."  
  
Elrohir once again glared at his brother, for the second time in one day,   
  
"You, my loving twin, are anything but comforting. I have always helped you with your romantic schemes, now it is time to return the favor. You took the female I was planning on…"  
  
"You were not and you know it! You promised not to hold her past crush on you over my head!"  
  
"I did not promise, I said I never planned to. Now, will you help me or not?"  
  
Elladan studied Elrohir at length and finally came to decision.  
  
"As much as I know I will come to regret this….I will aid you in this foolishness."  
  
"I thank you for that supreme vote of support."  
  
"Gladly given." 


	2. “If I had a world of my own, everything ...

Chapter Two: "If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense."  
  
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"In destinies sad or merry,  
  
True men can but try."  
  
-Pearl Poet  
  
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The people of Rohan were of a special kind, a studier stock of spirit then most he had seen. Then again, they had to be. One does not take the events that had happened to the Rohirrim easily. Young Theodred had died; their lands had been ravaged by Saruman, their king controlled by the power of Saruman and the poison of Wormtongue. Then there was Helm's Deep, and after all that, near the end when it seemed as if their King had once again led them through it all, Theoden fell, leaving Éomer to take the throne in his presence.  
  
Elrohir greatly admired the people for their spirit.  
  
And their horses.  
  
Their spirited horses really.  
  
Of course he had also discovered that the women were spirited. Just look at Eowyn, deals a mortal blow to the Witch-King, one that no male, elf or human, could.   
  
Elrohir was quite sure his time in Rohan would not be as boring as he first suspected. Especially now that his brother had agreed to help him with this seemingly impossible task. He never thought it would be so difficult to discover the name of one female. He understood the need to guard privacy but this was ridiculous. Yes, elves must have seemed like mythical beings or deities of some kind before the events of this last year. However, thanks to the battle of Helm's Deep, these people had fought and died by elves. One would think, therefore, a simple name would not be difficult to obtain.  
  
Apparently the sturdy men were very protective of their spirited women.  
  
That is where Elladan came in. His dear brother was not known as a crazy elf that stalked mortals. Elladan, being the "respectable" son of Elrond could easily just ask for the name. It would be simple really. Elladan would be doing the "proper thing" and make the apologizes of his brother known to the lady and her family. Something just told Elrohir it would not work out well.   
  
He remembered a moment in his younger years. Arwen said she had cursed him. He was wondering if that was true. Grandmother always had a soft spot for Arwen and tended to do whatever that brat asked of her. However, all curses could be overcome. And he was one very determined elf.  
  
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Elladan cursed softly under his breath, he was really tiring of this chase. The things he did in the name of brotherhood. All he wished for was to go home, curl up in bed, and tell the one he loved of all he had seen these past few months. She always understood him. But, no. He was stuck in Edoras, awaiting the escort of his sister so she could wed his foster brother. What should have been a relaxing break was quickly turning into a frivolous game he had given up years ago when he had found the person he wished to bond with. Elladan had always tired of the chase, and had only chased females in his brother name. He had never had a desire to play in the games of love, even if he had made a reputation of starting such games for others. Elladan had once been the match-maker of Imladris, but with the disastrous result of his last attempt at setting the paths of his sibling's hearts, he had stayed out of such affairs. Now, most unwillingly, he was standing outside of one of the thatched huts of the people of Rohan. Why could Elrohir not fall for a maiden of the court? Not only did he have to overcome the distinction of race but class as well. Father was going to kill Elrohir. Why could his brother not settle down with another elf just like everyone else? At least Arwen fell for a man of noble lineage and great standing. All Elladan knew of this girl was that she had a good right hook. While this was a great skill, it was not necessarily what one looked for in a mate. Elrohir had always been a bit touched. This incident further emphasized that point. Elladan rolled his eyes and proceeded to knock on the door of the house of the Smith. This would be interesting.  
  
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The household of Goban the Smith was much more hospitable than it seemed on the outside. Father had always told him to look past appearances, and he had usually kept to that sentiment, but this truly was a surprise. He searched for the person that had granted him entrance into the home, they mostly had expected it to be a customer coming in at the last minute, or they had been expecting one for some time. Elladan searched the small sitting area looking for any sign of human life. Really, people should know better than to let someone just walk into their home. Then again, look at his father….  
  
Elladan sensed someone staring at him off to the left. He turned and saw a small boy looking at him in awe. To a human being the shadows would have been the perfect cover for the small child; however, Elladan spotted him quite plainly. The poor child had most likely never seen an elf before. A sadness washed over Elladan, such loss of innocence, to grow up in these times. Hopefully by the time this young boy had grown and had a son of his own, life would be calm and peaceful. Elladan smiled at the small child and motioned him over to his side. Just as the boy took a tentative step towards the light a very indignant voice spoke in a succinctly cold tone,  
  
"How dare you enter my home!"  
  
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Elrohir lounged on the window sill inside of his room at the Golden Hall. Elladan was to have returned from making his apologies to the young woman over an hour ago. His brother always did tend to get side-tracked. As children he had once missed all of his lessons because he chased after a rabbit. He came back with a crazy story about falling down a hole and entering a world where a caterpillar smoked pipe weed that gave off purple smoke while sitting atop a mushroom and speaking to him in rhymes. Father had confined Elladan to the healing rooms for a week after that tale. Months after Elladan ran around singing a little song. Elrohir hummed it in his mind, "…No time to say hello, goodbye, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late." And Elladan was late. Where was that brother of his?  
  
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Elladan was having a lovely time in the house of Goban. The young Eadwig sat on his lap, transfixed by his ears, and the lovely Frideswide sat across from the table, tears of mirth running down her face. Goban himself was silently laughing at Elladan's latest tale. It was an account of one of Elrohir's more embarrassing moments involving the King of Mirkwood, some Lothlorien rope, an old blade of Glorfindel's, and the phrase, "off with his head." The King had not returned to Imladris after that visit.   
  
Some things could not be blamed solely on elvish youth.  
  
After Frideswide came to realize Elladan was not his spying twin, she had gladly accepted the elf's offer of entertaining the young boy. Her child actually. Elladan smiled sadly at this small family, one touched greatly by the evil that Saruman had unleashed. Their mother had died of childbirth, their father and Frideswide's husband in one of the numerous orc attacks. That had left young Goban with not only the responsibility to take over his father and also uncle's profession at smithing, but also take in and offer protection to his elder sister and her son. Elladan could not comprehend how one could endure such tragedy and yet still smile. He understood that tragedy, of this magnitude, had become part of life for those of the Rohan. Tragic, indeed. Elladan gave a glance to the sky outside, and realizing the position of the sun, he cursed under his breath. Obviously not quietly enough as Eadwig proceeded to say the word at a higher increasing level of volume. Elladan did not have a desire to tell dear Frideswide what the "beautiful elvish word" meant. He made his apologies to his hosts, and went towards the door, promising Eadwig that he would visit again soon. Elladan simply shook his head as he walked outside.  
  
"Eru, Elrohir, what have you gotten yourself into?"  
  
Elladan did not know if he could help with this one.   
  
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A/N: Yes, I used Movie-verse here, the reason is this is a future part of another story and that story has to use the movie-verse Two Towers to work. Trust me, I just as much as anyone else goes insane over the whole "Elves at Helm's Deep" thing, in fact it caused a lot of cursing from me when I first saw it in the theaters, but it does help with plot points.  
  
* The name FRIDESWIDE is of Anglo-Saxon origins, and therefore in keeping with Tolkien's traditional use of Anglo-Saxon and Old English for names of Men, esp. Rohan. For those that wonder, aspects of the name come from these two words: frið "peace" and swiðe "strong. For those that would like the link to the site that provided this, just e-mail me.   
  
* GOBÁN is derived from the name of an Irish Smith God.  
  
* EADWIG is an Old English name; derived from ead "rich, blessed" and wig "war".  
  
*Also, as I should have mentioned last time, and just did in the above note, this is a future part of "Lullaby of Love." Possible a few spoilers, but none that are very obvious.  
  
*And to Window Girl: Thanks for making the point about the term "half-elven." Well, ok, half-elven may be any one that is of both elf and mortal descent, but I tend to be a technical person. And when you are ½ full elf on one side and on the other side you have elf, men, and Maia, I don't think you should be half-elven. And really the whole line is a joke from another story, "Enigma." And if you have read that one, it might make you laugh hard. If not…yeah, starting to see how that is not so funny.  
  
*And if you didn't get the reference to "Alice in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking-Glass" then go pick up the children's book or the Disney movie. I blame that part of this story on stress and a Crunch bar. Chapter title comes from the Disney version. 


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